WHAT was being billed as a landmark day in the history of this parliament turned out to be much ado about nothing.

As is usually the case, the action began on TV way before things began to foment in the National Assembly, and the couch in the comfort of one`s own home was probably the best seat in the house.

The press gallery, which is never more than a quarter full even on the best of days, was brimming with reporters, anchorpersons and othersundry spectators who had come to watch the biggest show in town.

As the session began, one reporter planted himself in front of the closed-circuit monitor, cross-legged like the Buddha, as he hollered updates over the phone to his newsroom. Many others were forced to squeeze themselves in the aisles.

But down on the house floor, there were several empty seats, most of them on the government`s side of the aisle. This was also spotted by the hawk-eyed Sheikh Rashid, who pointed out after the session that the government had to call on nearly all their women MNAs to fill up the seats of the house. `This is the popularity of your prime minister,` he quipped.

Proceedings began with a listless Question Hour that seemed like it would never end. Bored with waiting for the main event, many lawmakers strolled around the house and exchanged pleasantries. But all that stopped as soon as the leader of the house stepped into the hall.

The house reverberated with the ruling party`s signature slogan `Dekho dekho kaun aya, Sher aya Sher aya` as the PM made his way to his seat. But despite his censures, Sardar Ayaz Sadiq couldn`t (or wouldn`t?) keep a lid on the boisterous ruling party loyalists.

The desk-banging had just died down when, minutes later, Imran Khan made his entrance from the other side of the aisle, to the strains of that other, similar slogan: `Dekho dekho kaun aya, Sher ka Shikari aya`.

The patience of an expectant audience was rewarded when, after dispensing with house formalities, the speaker called on the prime minister to take the stage.

Alongside details of his family`s business operations, his speech contained several gratuitous pot-shots at his opponents, chief among whom was Imran Khan. It was a detailed account; too detailed for opposition backbencher Jamshed Dasti, who seemed unhappy with both the content and the length of the PM`sremarks. The upstart lawmaker from Muzaffargarh tried on several occasions to heckle the prime minister, but he would have none of it.

But party sheriff Sheikh Aftab Ahmed spotted the errant member and, like a disapproving schoolmaster, chastised him after he tried to shout `Changa Manga`, a reference to the way the Sharifs allegedly won over the loyalties of several opposition politicians in the 1990s.

Sheikh Aftab then took to patrolling the aisles, much to the chagrin of opposition members, one of whom even asked the lawmaker sarcastically to take his seat.

Who knows, maybe the minister for parliamentary affairs was blocking the honourable member`s view.

The main event was quite well-choreographed.

Written by the PM`s chief spin doctor Pervaiz Rasheed, the speech reflected the information minister`s eloquent style. But when the PM began sniping at Imran Khan and PPP leaders, it was obvious that the pugnacious Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan also had a hand in preparing some of the material.

In fact, the interior minister, from his seat on the PM`s immediate left, kept whispering advice to his leader; prompting him to repeat punch lines and pause for applause.

The desk-banging by treasury members seemed to be on cue, as did the PM`s own dramatic flourishes.

Without breaking his rhythm, the PM handed file after file to the speaker`s staff; one containing details of tax returns, another on assets, and a third with photos from the inauguration of one of the Sharif family`s industries.

For his part, the PTl chief looked well-prepared, and could be seen furiously scribbling rebuttals to points made by the prime minister. Being one of the only MNAs seen in the house even less frequently than the prime minister, Imran was doubtlessly itching to have a go at him.

But it was not to be, and the opposition opted to take their case outside the house. There was much pushing, shoving and jostling for position as reporters strained to make out how the combined opposition would respond.

Here, the PTl chief looked more in his element, and brandishing a sheaf of documents, proposed to show the prime minister `how it`s done`.

`You should have shown us the deed to your [London] flat, like I have,` he said. But it didn`t seem like the Imran of old, the man who had once camped out before parliament and demanded in the coarsest of terms that PM Sharif step down.

`We`ll hammer out a strategy tomorrow,` said the new Imran. `Khan Sahib will address the house on Tuesday and will submit all these documents to be included in the assembly`s record,` Asad Umar told Dawn after the opposition presser.

But today, he probably won`t have the prime minister in his audience. An opportunity missed, many would say.remarks. The upstart lawmaker from Muzaffargarh tried on several occasions to heckle the prime minister, but he would have none of it.

But party sheriff Sheikh Aftab Ahmed spotted the errant member and, like a disapproving schoolmaster, chastised him after he tried to shout `Changa Manga`, a reference to the way the Sharifs allegedly won over the loyalties of several opposition politicians in the 1990s.

Sheikh Aftab then took to patrolling the aisles, much to the chagrin of opposition members, one of whom even asked the lawmaker sarcastically to take his seat.

Who knows, maybe the minister for parliamentary affairs was blocking the honourable member`s view.

The main event was quite well-choreographed.

Written by the PM`s chief spin doctor Pervaiz Rasheed, the speech reflected the information minister`s eloquent style. But when the PM began sniping at Imran Khan and PPP leaders, it was obvious that the pugnacious Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan also had a hand in preparing some of the material.

In fact, the interior minister, from his seat on the PM`s immediate left, kept whispering advice to his leader; prompting him to repeat punch lines and pause for applause.

The desk-banging by treasury members seemed to be on cue, as did the PM`s own dramatic flourishes.

Without breaking his rhythm, the PM handed file after file to the speaker`s staff; one containing details of tax returns, another on assets, and a third with photos from the inauguration of one of the Sharif family`s industries.

For his part, the PTl chief looked well-prepared, and could be seen furiously scribbling rebuttals to points made by the prime minister. Being one of the only MNAs seen in the house even less frequently than the prime minister, Imran was doubtlessly itching to have a go at him.

But it was not to be, and the opposition opted to take their case outside the house. There was much pushing, shoving and jostling for position as reporters strained to make out how the combined opposition would respond.

Here, the PTl chief looked more in his element, and brandishing a sheaf of documents, proposed to show the prime minister `how it`s done`.

`You should have shown us the deed to your [London] flat, like I have,` he said. But it didn`t seem like the Imran of old, the man who had once camped out before parliament and demanded in the coarsest of terms that PM Sharif step down.

`We`ll hammer out a strategy tomorrow,` said the new Imran. `Khan Sahib will address the house on Tuesday and will submit all these documents to be included in the assembly`s record,` Asad Umar told Dawn after the opposition presser.

But today, he probably won`t have the prime minister in his audience. An opportunity missed, many would say.