`My Parents Favour My Siblings Over Me` Hi Auntie, I`m a 22-year-old university student and the second of four sisters. I`m writing because I`ve been deeply affected by the way my parents treat me, compared to my eldest sister. She is clearly their favourite, receiving all their love, attention and even financial support. Meanwhile, the rest of us are often overlooked, especially me.

I`ve noticed that when my younger sisters share something, my parents at least listen, but when I try to speak, they ignore me entirely. This favouritism has made me feel so alienated that I`ve become rude and short-tempered at home. My parents now use my behaviour as a justification for their treatment, saying I`m not as calm and respectful as my elder sister, which is why they favour her.

What they don`t realise is that their neglect and unfairness are the reasons I`ve become this way. It`s a vicious cycle, one that leaves me feeling helpless and misunderstood. I`ve tried talking to them, but like many brown parents, they become emotional and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

How do I bridge this gap and make them see the distance between us? Disturbed Daughter Dear Disturbed Daughter, It breaks one`s heart to feel overlooked by your own parents. Whether favouritism is intentional or not, it can deeply wound your self-worth. It`s clear from your letter that there is an imbalance.

In your case, there is a vicious cycle. The lack of attention from your parents has led to feelings of frustration, which is resulting in your rudeness.

Unfortunately, their reaction only reinforces the dynamic, which leaves you more hurt. This is a difficult space to be in, but change is possible if you approach things with patience and understanding.

The first thing to do is to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to grieve the imbalance in your family. It`s natural to want your parents to treat you the same way they treat your elder sister, but it`s important to accept that their behaviour reflects their perspective and not your worth. This can help ease some of the pain.

When trying to bridge the gap with your parents, you should pick the time wisely. Instead of confronting them in the heat of the moment, choose a calm time to have a conversation.

Instead of blaming them, tell them how you feel.

So say something like, `I feel hurt when I am not heard`, instead of `You never listen to me.

Also, try to understand their point of view.

While their favouritism is not justified, they may have reasons for their behaviour. Maybe they rely on your elder sister in ways they don`t with you, or they might have preconceived notions about roles within the family. You don`t have to agree with it, but just knowing their perspective can help you approach them with empathy.

In the meantime, focus on building your sense of self-worth outside of your family. Strengthen your relationships with your siblings and with friends. Get involved in activities that bring you joy.

Just remember that change takes time. Your parents may not immediately take responsibility for their actions, but by consistently telling them your feelings, you can begin to build trust. At the same time, be prepared for the possibility that they may never change, so learn to find peace within yourself.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

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