`No One Sees My Pain`Hi Auntie, I hope you are doing well. I`m a 13-yearold girl, but I`m stuck in very big problems.

My father has had cancer for four years.

Things were fine until I began to understand everything. His condition started to get worse. One day, after coming back from the doctor, my sister started crying because his cancer went from two percent to 6O percent. During those days, I completely lost myself. I used to lock myself up and cry, but there was no one to listen to me.

My mother comes from a very religious background and she expects me to behave like a 3O-year-old. No outings, no crying, no speaking nothing. She doesn`t know about the battles I`m fighting all alone. She thinks she is the only one who cares for Baba and that I don`t understand anything.

Whenever I try to explain something to her, she always brings cancer into the conversation and judges me on small things.

She scolds me in front of everyone. When I try to pray, she says, `You are just doing drama.` The girls in her family don`t study, but I do. However, she says because those girls don`t sit with boys, I shouldn`t either.

Nowadays, Baba is also supporting her.

I have a simple question: Do I deserve to live? Invisible and Alone Dear Invisible and Alone, Of course you deserve to live. You are a 13-year-old girl going through something that many adults would have a hard time handling.

Your father`s illness is not your fault. It is no one`s fault. Also, your pain isn`t unimportant just because your mother can`t see it. You are not selfish for crying. And you are certainly not dramatic for praying. You are a human being a very young one at that who is trying her best.

Your mother likely does not understand what is happening with you right now. While I don`t want to justify how she is behaving with you, you should also understand that she herself is scared. Even though your mom is an adult, she is probably facing such hardships for the first time and knowing this will go a long way in helping you deal with her. Also, fear sometimes makes people numb. However, that still doesn`t mean her words are true. Just because she says you are wrong, it doesn`t mean you are wrong.

To deal with your own pain, I`d suggest you start writing down what you feel. It will help to journal your feelings when no one seems to listen. You don`t have to share your uncensored thoughts with anyone. Tear or burn the papers after you are done. If there`s a teacher or school counsellor or even an older relative that you can trust, talk to them. Find someone who will really listen to you. Even one person who understands your situation can make a difference. And keep studying. Your education is a way to build yourself the future that you want.

For now, you should work on surviving and getting through your days. Your job isn`t to be perfect. Your job is to keep going. The situation will change. But you have to hold on tight till that happens. Don`t believe the voice in your head that says you don`t deserve to live. You`re here for a reason. And you are worth loving, even if the people around you can`t show it right now.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

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