IN a recent article for the New York Times, Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton Business School (which recently beat Harvard for the top spot among US business schools), recounted a curious incident. After interviewing a top venture capital investor on stage, Grant announced to the audience that he would be taking questions for the guest. He alsoinstructed the audience not to present pitches trying to interest the investor in the various business ventures the audience members might have.

Despite this, the very first person who was handed the mic proceeded to do just that, trying to get a favour and get the investor interested in his venture.

In his essay, Grant used the example to open up a wider discussion on `networking`, the practice of getting to know people, however superficially, as a means of getting ahead. In Grant`s view, `knowing people`is perhaps not as important as it is imagined to be.

Grant`s point requires particular discussion in Pakistan. Getting to know people for the purpose of asking favours has been a mainstay of the way things are done in the country. It follows that those interested in getting ahead, those with ambition, are eager to `make contacts` and do the sort of mingling that will get them where they want. If Grant thought that the audience member at his event was somewhat aggressive, ignoring specific instructions not to push business ideas at the speaker, he would be appalled at some of the aggressive tactics at play in Pakistan, where even basic etiquette when it comes to asking for a favour is missing.

When people who are important or even perceived as important attend public events, they are often mobbed by requests for favours. If they cannotbe got ahold ofin person andiftheirtelephone numbers or emails are available on the internet, the line for `asking a favour` is imagined open.

Requests pour in for information, research materials, jobs, books and money. Underneath all of them seems to be the belief that the person who is asking for the favour has the right to be heard and reallydeserves to be. Considerations of propriety or tact and politeness or good behaviour are pushed to the side.

The truth is that annoying or harassing someone or demanding things from them is unlikely to allow an individual to get what he or she wants. Just like the man who got up and started to use the moment togettheinvestorinterestedinhis business,or the person who asks for a CEO`s email in an elevator, or the individual who interrupts a conversation or a meal or a meeting, everyone seems to believe that simply being heard, pushing through and past others,is the key to success.

Undoubtedly, Pakistan is replete with examples of nepotism and the misuse of family connections to push sons and nieces ahead in life. Beyondthat factor, which has remained a constant over many decades, increased urbanisation and growth has meant that the business environment is opening up. All businesses, even the nepotistic family-owned establishments full of uncles and cousins, do in the end require people who actually know how to do the job, not simply those who are there because of a favour. This last point bears repeating (and was substantiated by Grant in his own essay).

Networking, one`s skill in asking for favours, getting access, the email or phone number or time of an important person, can only get one so far.

Ultimately, it is the skill of actually doing a great job that determines progress and success.

For all those people who are starting their careers, for students, interns and assistants, a fewbasicfactsrequire repeating.First off(anditis sad that this has to be said, but it does), it pays to be nice. People would be surprised to see how many professor s get letters demanding access to research, definitions, books, articles, etc. Many, if not most, do not bother to connect the request with the professor`s work; they simply demand this or that. It seems bizarre, but it is a habit, the `asking for a favour` habit, without any consideration of the time or effort that is being demanded.

Second, actual mentors are valuable; they should be cherished and cultivated. The one or two people who actually know the individual and his or her work are far more valuable than the 50 one meets for a second at a conference or at a wedding or at a lunch. If there is someone whose guidance one wishes to have, honesty and sincerity is required when approaching them; equally important is 1(nowing their work and knowing how it connects to one`s own, and acknowledging as much. The best 1(nown and the busiest people are not often the best candidates for mentors; the best are those who show a genuine interest in one`s future.

Pakistan has long subsisted on asking for and expecting favours. The familiar, tribal and feudal origin of Pakistani society has meant that this exchange of favours has oiled social and work relations for a terribly long time. It is, however, 2018; the social media, urbanisation, and demographic change have all exerted their transformative effects. The asking of favours in the age of now has little to do with old networks and requires some revamping, a re-infusion of the basic etiquette of sincerity, politeness, humility and consideration that seems to have been lost.

So go ahead, ask for a favour; but before you do that, the circumstances, not just your own but also those of the person whose assistance is needed, must be considered. • The writer is an attomey teaching constitutional law and political philosophy.

rafia.zakaria@gmail.com