`How Do 1 Open Myself To Love?` Dear Auntie, I am a 24-year-old girl, who doesn`t know how to open her heart to love. I spent my whole life studying hard to get a scholarship abroad and, in order to achieve that, I always viewed romantic relationships as a barrier and kept a strict façade in front of boys.

But I have been failing for two years to get a scholarship, disappointing myself and everyone around me. But on top of that, I feelthatican neverbe loved.

Even after studying in a co-education high school and university, no one has ever confessed that they like me. So, I fear that, along with being an educational failure, will I also remain unloved? My therapist tells me to open my heart to romantic relationships and they will come to me. My friends say I need to stop acting as if I will slap a guy if they talk to me but, auntie, tell me how to do that! I want to achieve all of my goals, but I no longer want to sacrifice the idea of unconditional love from a life partner. So, tell me, how does one open their heart to love? Please respond.

24-and-Frustrated Dear24-and-Frustrated, You`ve spent your entire young life with your eyes on the prize, brushing distractions aside and pushing yourself to be the version of you who makes everyone proud. That kind of laser focus is admirable.

You did what you had to do by protecting yourself while chasing big dreams. You are not a failure. Not getting a scholarship (yet!) doesn`t undo your years of hard work, nor does it make you any less deserving of love. And just because no one has declared their feelings to you doesn`t mean you`re unloveable, it probably means you have spent so long in `Do Not Disturb` mode that people just don`t know how to approach you. You were busy protecting yourself.

Now that you`re ready to change your life, know that opening your heart doesn`t mean losing your ambition. It doesn`t mean becoming someone else. It simply means allowing yourself to be seen. Let people get to know the funny, kind, awkward, courageous you.

Start small. Smile more. Ask questions, laugh at jokes, initiate conversation (even if it`s just about the terrible WiFi). Try to be present when you talk to someone, instead of calculating if they`ll ruin your life. You don`t have to fall in love tomorrow. You just need to be open.

And when you feel vulnerable and it makes you scared, remind yourself that love is not a reward you earn once you become perfect. Love is something that will happen when you show up as yourself. You are worthy of love, just as you are.

From your letter it is quite obvious that there is a romantic inside of you behind your academic goals waiting to peek out. Let her.

Let people in. Let love find its way.

Also, your life isn`t a race to tick boxes.

Whether it`s love or success, you are allowed to want all of it. And you`re allowed to get there in your own time.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

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