WHENEVER a gender-based violence incident gains traction on social media, I try to follow as much mainstream media as possible to see how they covered it.

GBV is so prevalent in Pakistan that we`ve become numb to it like we have about so many other issues so that it doesn`t get the attention it deserves. This is the cruel nature of the media cycle. It has worsened since the demise of the professional editor in charge of agendas.

Now, media owners make decisions about what can and shouldn`t be aired.

Social media, however, is another ball game. Even if you don`t use it, you know by now that anything and everything goes with no accountability. I just came across an account on X abusing Maryam Nawaz for burying the Punjab college rape case.Ithought that story had been debunked a long time ago, but people live in their own realities.

Most of us, however, live in a weird place where voices and issues are muzzled on the mainstream, and it`s hard to make sense on social media because there is so much disinformation and misinformation. It is with this in mind that I followed the case of the Baloch couple murdered in an `honour` killing. In fact, it is gender-based murder.

The Sustainable Social Development Organisation recorded at least 32,000 cases of gender-based violence last year, including 547 instances of `honour` killings of which 32 were reported in Balochistan. Of that, one resulted in a conviction.

This most recent case, allegedly from May, is a good example of the viral factor on social media and how it propelled the incident to dominate conversation across all platforms. It also got the government to take action. We can safely assume that had there been no video, perhaps there`d be no action or chance of consequences.

Social media was filled with `this isn`t us` commentary on social media. Who, then, is it? This othering of communities is another form of denial, as is the rush to absolve the state, or condemn the jirga system, or paint all Baloch as backward or BLA sympathisers.

I was most disturbed by a strange romanticism around the woman`s murder being framed as `she chose to die for love`. One woman journalist tweeted `she embraced death with dignity`. I was flabbergasted. There was nothing dignified about this incident.

It`s impossible to watch everything, so I don`t know who else did this, but I appreciated Talat Hussain asking Balochistan`s chief minister why he outed the couple as unmarried in hispress conference. Aren`t you sort of justifying their murder by adding a morality element to it, he asked? He pressed harder. He even asked why Sarfraz Bugti was addressing the head of the tribe arrested for his alleged role in the crime as `sardar sahab`? I appreciated this line ofquestioningbecauseitis ourjob to ask tough questions so that audiences are better informed.

But not everyone was critical of the chief minister, and agreed that he described the couple`s relationship only to sift fact from fiction. I disagree. I think it`s a conscious crafting of a campaign to discredit the couple as immoral, making it easier for society to distance themselves from an adulterous couple. On the day of writing, the woman`s mother was seen on TV agreeing with the jirga`s decision to order her daughter`s murder. You already know which way the road is being pavedforthe accused.

This is the cumulative media effect, Talat reminded me. It refers to repeatedexposure to messaging in the media and how it creates a lasting impact on society, shaping our attitudes. It explains the kneejerk reaction to `this isn`t us` because we`ve beenfed a hogwash of misogyny posing as our culture.

This is how things have long been done.

It`s a cycle of indignation why was the woman on the motorway at 2am, why was the victim living with her murderer, etc followed by a cleverly crafted campaign to sway public opinion against the victims. This is how patriarchy tightens its grip on society. Its allies the state, the sardars, the religious parties are only too happy to help because they get to consolidate power.

Good journalism should, in theory, lay bare the power dynamics that have long existed in Pakistan. Why does the jirga system still exist, or, another way to frame the question is, why hasn`t the judiciary been allowed to function, let alone work, and not just in Balochistan? Why can`t we develop mechanisms that address an epidemic of GBV and sexual abuse, especially of children? It requires all stakeholders to accept and shout from the rooftops that this is not our culture.

And if it is, it must be shed. • The wnter is an instructor of journalism.

X: LedeingLady