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A SLUGFEST BALLET

2025-06-29
Not faster than a speeding bullet, but definitely faster than murderous knife swings on the jugular, Ana de Armas, as Eve Macarro, a daughter of two assassins of rival organisations, adds men and women to her deadly body count in a brawl-a-minute, nearly storyless side-story set between the third and fourth John Wick films.

And since Ballerina is set within the John Wick universe, it is fitting and publicity-wise crucial that Wick (Keanu Reeves) makes at least one entrance.

Well, you`re in for a surprise: Wick doesn`t just drop by in a cameo that only has him delivering sagely advice.

He tells Eve, who is still in training under the Director (Angelica Huston), the leader of the group Ruska Roma that trains `ballerina` assassins, that she has an option: Eve can just leave, because the door to the outside world is open.

Of course, it`s not that easy, because Eve accidentally uncovers the trail to The Cult, the other in this case `evil` assassin organisation (they`re all evil at one point or another), and Wick finds out that neither mere words nor open doors will get him out of this film. Action, in the world of Wick, is inevitable.

The helm, this time round, is passed on to Lens Wiseman (Underworld films, Total Recall remake, the fourth Die Hard) but it could very well be Chad Stahelski who directed all four John Wick films. The screenplay is by Shay Hatten.

Most of the plot mentioned above is designed to function as a brawl-fest, as Eve, emoting slight expressions of pain and wide-eyed sorrow, goes through one actionsequence after another. The experience is akin to watching someone play an action video game, where the highly skilled protagonist kills, kills and then kills some more, as she smashes through a number of well-designed, well-lit locations.

Soon, one wishes to have a remote that speeds up the movie in the cinemas. . . by a factor of three.

Speaking of three: there are but three interesting action bits in the film. The first is a one-shot that sees Eve`s car being rammed and then pushed into the alley way when she is about leave one of her completed assassinations; the second has her in a snow-covered town of Hallstatt in Austria, where she and her opponent smash porcelain dishes on top of each other`s heads; the third is a standoff between a flame-thrower and a water hose from a fire hydrant.

Ballerina doesn`t require much acting, and both Reeves and de Armas a stunning beauty but not that good an actress understand that part quite well. Ian McShane, Gabriel Bryne, Huston, Norman Reedus, Catalina Sandino Moreno and Lance Reddick, in his last screen performance, know this as well. Embroiled in the midst of constant slugfests, there is just enough room to be charismatic and stand out while the choreographers, stunt-men, stunt-women and body-doubles do their job.

Theirs, of course, is a job well done.

The rest is just plain hammering of the senses in a very unoriginal movie. Mohammad Kamran Jawaid Released by Lionsgate and HKC, Ballerina is rated PG and has a lot of killing but no gore or blood splatters.