"What is a constitution`? A constitution is an avenue. It is often located in a federal capital. It goes from left to right and north to south. You can drive over it with ease anytime you want. It is protected on either side by footpaths that are regularly trod upon by citizenry who cannot afford motorised means of transport. It is surrounded by enormous buildings of legislation, justice and diplomacy.

`It is only important for those individuals who have nothing to do.

For men of action and consequence, it is nothing more than a hindrance. It hinders them and, in turn, they hinder it right back, because men of action do not take crap from anyone or anything.

`We must all learn to be men of action.

especially the women amongst us.

Industrialist, Politician and WhatsApp Man of Letters Jimmy Jirga, to his 12-year-old son, Pherause Caan `Ipso facto, a constitution is a document of great import. However, should the judiciary deem it otherwise, it can also assume the shape of an obstreperous obstacle, which must be placed within such constraints as found necessary by their lordships, commanders of the judicial galaxy and masters of all they survey.

`As a document, it is merely a set of rules and regulations that have been agreed upon by a group of beautifully fragranced individuals. These laws do not necessarily apply to this group, unless said laws are in a position to benefit said individuals. The regulations laid therein also have no impact upon the state of non-humans and inanimate objects within the republic.

`However, like a well-oiled corporate entity, every country must bear the burden of a constitution, if it is to exist in today`s modern world. This has become necessary due to the worldbeing run mostly by socialist feminist transgenders, placed in positions of power and prestige by the deep state, in order to wreak havoc over the world that has been so painstakingly created by wealthy but powerless, strong but weak, unaccountable but selfless, affluent, heterosexual men, who have been blessed with all the knowledge that is contained in to quote the late, great Peter Cook `the universe and all that surrounds it.

`As a member of the Supremes, I am given the opportunity to interpret the constitution any which way I wish.

I am also blessed with the ability to uphold my judicial principles at my convenience and pass judgements, wind and water, as and when I desire.

`Ergo, it is something that plays an important part in my life, despite trying my best not to let it. But it gives me a pension. And free post-retirement travel.

And pays for my utilities. And security.

And a staff member or two. And also, I get to keep the gown even when I am no longer part of the Supremes. So, there is that.

Legal Eagle and Member of theSupremes Justice Ifti 2.0, addressing members at the Supreme Court Bar Association `What is a constitution, you ask? I swear upon it and at it. It is nothing but a piece of paper, which I can tear and throw in the dustbin if I so desire.

I like its malleability, as it can be casily suspended, amended and even held in abeyance at a distance if it smells foul (which it often does). It is an impediment to efficient ruling, but does have the ability to make one immune. And that is not such a bad thing in times like these, where all kinds of strange, democratic viruses are rife.

Brig (forcibly retd) Babar `Bobby` Niazi, in the recently released documentary Dinner With An Autocratic Babydoll `A constitution is a waste of time. It has things in it which make no sense. I am told it can be changed. But then, why put something in it that would have to be changed later? This kind of thinking never happens in the corporate world. Evil people use it to run their evil system. Thatis why leaders like me are sent by the gods to take down the system from within.

`I will do whatever it is in my power to do whatever it is in my power. This is what being a billionaire means. It also means that any document that provides rights to those who don`t deserve them (ie non-billionaires) must be shamed, ridiculed, mocked, made redundant and, subsequently, officially destroyed.

It is the least I can do for my followers.

Businessman, Politician and Cliftonian Emblem of Masculinity and Erudition Doland J. Drumpf, in a special edition of Forbes 80 under 80.

`Men are not robots and robots need no constitution, just programming.

When it works for me, then fine, I say, keep it. But when it stops working, throw it away like a bottle top before they catch you! Cliftonian Messiah, Saviour and Intellectual Pin-up National Icon&Hope Nazir Jr, in Vogue Cliftonia Farid Alvie was born. He currently lives.

He`s on Instagram @faridalvie