Dear Auntie, I am a 20-year-old woman who has recently been appointed to my new role. A 35-year-old man was transferred from another branch to work as a naib qaasid [peon] at my station.
While he appears healthy and fit, he refuses to perform his duties whenever I ask him to do something.
Instead of doing the work, he either tells me to do it myself, waits for other staff members to complete it or passes on my instructions to other peons. He refuses to clean my table, avoids making tea or warming my lunch.
Whenever I ask him to look for a file, he gives the lazy excuse that he is new to this station and then sits idle.
Being much younger than him, I find it highly frustrating when he commands others instead of doing his own work. Should I speak to him directly and clarify his responsibilities, or let the matter go since he eventually gets the work done through others? Please guide me on how to handle this situation and establish my authority without creating unnecessary conflict.
Regards, Authority Under Siege Dear Authority Under Siege, Your situation sounds frustrating. You are young and newly appointed and, naturally, you want to establish yourself in the workplace. Having someone repeatedly disregard your instructions makes this difficult, especially when you are simply asking him to do his job.
I also wonder whether your age and gender have something to do with his attitude. Unfortunately, some men still find it difficult to take instructions from women, particularly younger women. It is possible that he is perfectly willing to do the same work for an older male officer but doesn’t like being told what to do by a 20-year-old woman.
However, before assuming sexism is the reason for his behaviour, observe how he responds to instructions from other supervisors.
Does he disregard their orders also or is his behaviour directed specifically at you? What you learn from observing him should tell you where he is coming from.
I would suggest having a conversation with him. Be polite but firm and make sure the message gets across. Explain his responsibilities clearly and let him know that you expect him to carry them out. If he is genuinely unfamiliar with the station and its procedures, give him some time to settle in. However, being new does not excuse him from making the effort or passing your instructions to others.
Don’t dwell on the age difference. Your authority comes from the position you have been appointed to, not your age. At the same time, treat him respectfully. Be courteous when you speak to him and don’t turn any disagreement into a power struggle.
If he continues to disregard his assigned responsibilities despite your conversation, document the incidents and raise the matter with your supervisor or HR department. There is no reason why others should constantly have to do this man’s job.
Remember, you don’t have to shout or be unpleasant to establish your authority. Be fair, consistent and professional in your dealings. You will encounter difficult people everywhere and you will meet many more in your career. Learning to handle them calmly and confidently will serve you far better than getting drawn into a battle of egos.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
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