Uff, I’m so eggstatic, so eggstatic kay don’t even ask. Kyun? What do you mean, kyun? Oho bhai, Trump got a joota in his face, VD Jance got a joota in his face, Elon Must got a joota in his face, Satanyahoo got a foota in his face and you ask me why I’m eggstatic? Dopar se, keerras have eaten Janoo’s younger sister Cobra’s Shahtoosh apparently, it’s in titters so I’m even more eggstatic.
They were all going to urrao Iran well not Cobra but the rest of them and they got urraoed themselves. And that Hocha Has got with his oily hair, he was wanting a public execution, na. Ubb he’s in line for his own public humiliation.
I tell you, Allah ki laathi. . .
And don’t tell Janoo, but I’ve got such a fat crush on that Abdul ElSayed, so cute and handsome with his tight, tight T-shirts, his big, big muscles, his foreign-looking colouring, his fur fur English and his flat refusal to apologise for being Muslim and, generally, just thallay lago. And, uff, the way he called VD Jance ‘Habibi’ and made fun of him, I said to Janoo kay bus I’m tau moving to Misshygun. And when Trump made fun of his name, pretending he couldn’t pronounce it, how he told him to just call him Senator. Uff, it’s all too, too delicious.
And apparently, there is some other tech gazillionaire called Jetset Huang, who’s so close to Trump that he is hum pyala, hum nivala with him and went with him on a state visit to China so he could be shown off to She Ping. Well, he’s now being investigated for carrying on with a Chinese woman who is not only a businessman in a big tech company in Singapoor but is also said to be a spy, sent by China to phussao him and to retract state secrets from him.
Naturally, he’s happily married and is a family man and used to give big showoffy interviews about how he was so clever and so successful. Honestly, as Mother Andrews at the Convent used to say, ‘Pride comes before a fall.
China is denying kay bhai this has nothing to do with us and if he’s tharki and wants to have affairs with Chinese women who are not his wife, that’s his problem, not ours. Vaisay, I’m reclined to agree with She Ping and China. Tharki Jetset gets what he deserves.
But talking of weird things happening around the world, have you heard about the freezers in European supermarkets that broke down at once everywhere and they had to throw away so much of food? And how dozens of flights across Europe had to be cancelled because of bomb threats and how in Japan so many companies were hit by cypher attacks and in Para Go Away, which is a country God knows where, a bank lost billions and collapsed overnight because of another cypher attack? This is all the fault of AI, I’m telling you. Before we had AI, we were all living peacefully well not exactly peacefully, America was even then droning us and bombing Iraq but, I’m warning you, from now only AI is going to finish us all.
Don’t say afterwards that I didn’t tell you.
Vaisay France has said Iran was behind the attack on their supermarkets. And the goras always think it’s Putin or She. But if you ask me, it is the Israelis. Honestly, I don’t put anything past them. Who else is meesna and zehreela enough to get into people’s pagers and to use a pedo like Epstein to trap VIPs? Dopar se, their soldiers themselves have admitted in that film NAZA how they used AI to bomb family homes in Gaza. With all these pro-Palestine jalooses young people are taking out in Europe, they probably want to punish them. Always spying on everyone, always listening in, always making evil plans. Honestly! My friend Tina in London told me that guvmunt is expecting some cypher attack in UK also because it’s asked them to stock up enough food and water and medicines for three days in case Putin comes himself and shuts off their gas or electricity or attacks their supermarkets.
So, I said to Janoo that with Modi on our backside, and we all know how he’s Satanyahoo’s bestie, shouldn’t we also stock up boris of rice and potatoes and fill up our freezer with dead sheep? And he said if they go for our electricity, won’t your sheep rot in the freezer? And if they go for our gas, will you eat your potatoes like apples? I said we could use wood like they do in Sharkpur. So, he said if I was that worried then the best place for us to be would be Sharkpur. I told him, thanks for the offer but I’d rather die of cypher attack than go to Sharkpur.
Many years ago, @monimohsinofficial, novelist and journalist,outed herself as The Social Butterfly