Dear Auntie, I am writing because I am facing a problem and hope you can guide me.
The problem is that I cannot seem to stick with one thing. For example, I get completely absorbed in a book when I start reading it but, after a few days, I lose interest and abandon it. I then move on to something else, such as IELTS preparation, but end up abandoning it after a few days as well.
I start everything feeling motivated but, after a few days, my interest wanes and I stop. Because of this, I have not been able to complete anything properly and I feel very bad about myself.
Auntie, I really want to change this habit. I want to be more consistent and finish what I start. I think a small plan, or someone checking on my progress, might help me stay on track.
Demotivated Dear Demotivated, Don’t be too hard on yourself. Some people find it easier to stick to a routine for months, while others get excited about something new but struggle to maintain the enthusiasm once the initial excitement wears off. You may simply enjoy the excitement of starting something new more than the process of seeing it through.
That doesn’t mean you are incapable of developing consistency. Even if consistency doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a skill you can develop.
I suggest you stop trying to do too many things at the same time. Choose a thing that really matters to you right now. For instance, if IELTS preparation is important for your future, make that your priority. Set yourself a small target, something like studying for it 20 minutes every day. Don’t start by setting yourself a target of studying two hours every day. At this point, you might find it difficult to sustain such a commitment.
Also, don’t depend on motivation. Motivation comes and goes, and if you wait until you feel interested, you will keep putting things off. Make a habit of doing a little every day, even when you don’t feel like it. Those are precisely the days when it is important to make the effort. Studying for 10 minutes is better than not studying at all.
Try this for a month. Keep track of the days you complete your task. If you miss a day, don’t consider it a failure. Simply pick up where you left off the next day. You can ask a friend or family member to check on your progress once a week.
Also remember, not everything you start needs to be finished. You can lose interest in a book or a hobby. The important thing is to distinguish between things you do for enjoyment and those you need to see through because they matter to your future.
You asked me to check on your progress, but I cannot personally follow up with every reader who writes in. Instead, find a friend or family member who can help keep you accountable.
You don’t need to change who you are. Just develop a few habits that will help you stay focused on what matters.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
Auntie will not reply privately to any query.
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